


The Sins of the Father

by ladyamesindy



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-23
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 19:20:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1149836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyamesindy/pseuds/ladyamesindy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The war was nearing its end.  They could feel it.  Only a couple of missions left to go and they would know the outcome.  However, a chance find at Cronos throws the Commander for a big loop and begs the question: Will she make it to the end?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sins of the Father

It wasn’t difficult to figure out how she’d made it through the rest of the mission.  Jane Shepard had always been the type to be up front and center, in the thick and heat of the battle, giving out a hell of a lot better than she got.  On the one hand a frightening experience, on the other it was inspirational.  To witness all mental and physical focus centered in such a way had left more than one person in awe of her.  

Only, this time she seemed to have had even more fire in her, if such a thing was possible. The flare of her biotics had seemed bigger and brighter, and it would certainly be an explanation for her overly emphatic method (cool, controlled rage was one thing, but this had been something else altogether) of killing Kai Leng.  

But the moment the battle had ended, the _instant_ she’d said, “Let’s go,” it was as if walls had suddenly been built up around her, plastered with ‘No Trespassing’ and ‘Keep Out’ signs.  The message she was sending was quite loud and clear as they rendezvoused with Cortez at the shuttle and rode back to the _Normandy_ in silence.  

 _Topic not open for discussion_.  

Even EDI, normally her questioning chatty self, elected not to disturb it.

Arrival at the _Normandy_ was the typical mad dash to get boarded, secured and depart for the next destination mixed with the usual armor and arms checks.  However, where the usual post-battle bantering would normally occur, particularly with those members of the crew who would make their way down to meet the incoming team, there was nothing but silence, and it was a daunting one at that.  From his position near the lockers, Kaidan kept a careful eye on her.  He perhaps better than any of the others could read her mood best and the moment she’d stripped her armor, tossing her weapons over at Cortez without waiting for any sort of acknowledgement before turning towards the elevator, he knew it was bad.  

Garrus had met them this time and he seemed as startled by Shepard’s reactions as the rest of them.  Glancing over at Kaidan while walking over to take the shotgun from Cortez, he began examining the weapon out of habit and asked, “Something out of the ordinary happen over there?”

He glanced over at EDI who was setting her weapons onto the table to be looked at later.  “You could say that,” Kaidan returned neutrally.  When the AI turned towards him, he nodded towards the elevator and the two exited the shuttle bay together.  

“Is there something you wish to discuss, Major?” she asked a moment later after the doors had closed behind them and the lift began to move.  

“Uh, yeah,” Kaidan replied, hand automatically moving to rub at the back of his neck.  All these weeks around her in this form, and still he felt the occasional twinge of nerves.  Instinctual, perhaps, after what had happened on Mars so many months before, but disconcerting nonetheless.  “Look, about what happened … back there,” he waved vaguely.

EDI’s head tilted slightly towards one side.  “On Cronos?”

“Yeah.  That last set of records you found.”

On a human, the widening of the eyes would indicate surprise or possibly even understanding.  On EDI, it seemed out of place, even though Shepard had explained to him about the AI’s evolution and nearing what Shepard believed was true intelligence.  Even if EDI was a fully evolved AI, the reaction still looked a bit unusual, even if explicable.  “Regarding the truth of Commander Shepard’s parentage?”

Kaidan nodded.  “Yeah.  Let’s just … keep that between us for now, okay?  Shepard needs some … privacy to deal with it before others know.”

EDI bowed her head in a respective manner.  “Of course, Major.”  

Kaidan sighed in relief, mostly.  “Thank you, EDI.”

 

* * *

 

Of all the things happening with and around her over the past few years, there was one topic of discussion that had always been off the table with anyone and everyone - her father.  

Jane knew the story well, had the vaguest of memories of his sudden departure when she was barely three years old.  Hannah had always told her that her father had died in the First Contact War, a victim of the turians in that conflict.  It had been drilled into her long and loud enough over the years that, when Jane had met Garrus just three years before, it had taken quite a while for her to settle into a comfortable working relationship with him.  But, thanks to help and guidance from people like Hackett, Anderson and Kaidan, she’d learned not to allow her personal feelings on the issue influence her reactions.  It had been a start, at least.  The rest had followed with further interaction.  That she could call Garrus Vakarian a friend proved her accomplishments to this end.

But only now could she realize just how different a path she might have taken.   _Should_ have taken, maybe.  But she hadn’t.  Opportunity had certainly been there.  Her temperament was one that most people, had they known the details, might have expected her to take that route.  But she hadn’t.  And by this point in time, she was fairly certain that she never would.  The warning signs had often been there, though she’d found ways to ignore them for the most part.  Thanks to interventions by Kaidan, Garrus or any of the others, really.  They’d done their best to bring her to the end, ready to fight.  

But now, as a result of this one mission, all of that seemed as if it might be for naught just as they needed it - needed _HER_ \- most.  All because of one man’s selfish ambitions.

Life was, she decided, all about choice.  Over the years, she’d made a lot of them - both good and bad.  Some more difficult and challenging than others.  But in the end, it all came down to personal preference.  As she looked back  now, she could see similarities between them.  Decisions made that, at the time had been unfathomable even to her as to the logic behind them, but now upon further reflection and with recent information applied, made perfect sense.  She was her father’s daughter, after all.

The door behind her opened, a quiet whooshing hiss as it opened and then closed in quick succession.  Jane didn’t turn.  She knew who would be there.  Even with her back turned to him, she could feel his presence in so many ways, not the least of which was the silent support he always gave her, even if he didn’t agree with her choice.  Boy, did she ever need that now.

 

* * *

 

In the end, she tried to save him, to talk him off this path of madness.  She didn’t examine her reasons why, only knew that it was there, in her blood, and if he could go that route, so could she … quite easily … had been tempted too many times in the past.  

And yet, she hadn’t chosen that route.  Why?  What had kept her from that road towards … insanity?  Arrogance?  Both were two sides of the same coin, really.  

In that last instant, just before the pistol rose and the shot was taken, her eyes met his and held and she saw … _some_ thing.  Hope?  Pride?  Despair?  Love, maybe?  Whatever it was it was gone a moment later, silenced forever as the trigger engaged and his now lifeless form fell to the ground.  

No longer restrained, she hobbled over, dropped to her knees, stared down at eyes no longer interpreting events going on around them.  “Why?” she hissed softly, anger and pain causing her voice to shake.  “You left us … you never came back … you chose rage over family ….  Why?”

But no answer was forthcoming, his form lying still and lifeless before her.  He’d never been there with the answers when she’d needed him before, she could hardly expect him to provide anything satisfactory now.  Rising, she turned and left him behind as she’d never been able to before and made her way forward.  She had her own choices to make.  And, unlike him, she had a war to _win_.  

 


End file.
